what i need right now | trixi's Blog

it's not much.  i just need somebody to care and listen.  i am feeling blue for many reasons.  the holidays were bittersweet, and though i tried to make them nice for my little family, there was very little in the way of success.  i am disheartened because no matter how hard i bust my ass on any given day, it seemingly gets me nowhere.  i am feeling especially lonely this evening. i have a bit of a cold and am feeling sleepy.  i took my kids out for chinese food on their insistence but they ended up embarrassing me with their bad behavior.  my son thought it was funny to lock me out of the car while i stood in the cold in the restaurant parking lot with everyone staring at me.  then we went to dollar tree and they beat each other with toy swords despite my protests.  i feel like nothing but a piece of furniture, a doormat---that's how little respect i get as a parent.  so i have decided to just lay down and go to bed now & hopefully wake up in a better mood tomorrow. the only saving grace is the fact that because the kids are still on holiday vacation, i will be able to go to work in the morning without having to fight and plead with them to get ready.  even so, i am not looking forward to monday.