i got old and didn't know it | trixi's Blog

i took the kids swimming the other day.  i love being in nature and particularly around the water and the woods.  but i've somehow ( over the years) become more a spectator than a participant and i was content watching the kids jump from rocks and splash and swim.  they, however, called me a wimp and a fuddy duddy because i only jumped once.  just from the hike to the swimming hole i was exhausted for the rest of the day.  it finally hit me that i had gotten old without my knowledge or consent.  what has happened to me?  i am still adventurous, but not in the same way or to the extent i was in the past.  inside, i'm still a fun-loving person, but my body just won't cooperate as easily as it once did and plus, being a mom has made me overly cautious where the kids are concerned and i'm always worrying they will get hurt. so i spend the majority of my time attempting to keep them safe. 

all this being said, i worry that i have lost my spark, my zest for life that i once had.  but it's not really true--deep down, at least.  i'm just different.  and i haven't quite determined whether that's a good thing or bad.  hmmmm. questions questions.